10 Hilarious Grocery Store Do’s and Don’ts

August 02, 2016

Shopping for groceries can be a little scary when you know temptation is lurking around every corner. Sometimes the best way to settle our nerves (and to lighten up) is with a little humor!

We asked our very funny friend Megan, a comedy writer, what her best advice would be for staying healthy while shopping at the grocery store.

Here is her helpful/hilarious list of 10 Grocery Store Do’s and Don’ts:

  1. DO buy fresh vegetables. DON’T buy an entire gallon of Ranch Dressing to dunk them in.
  2. DO gaze longingly down the frozen pizza aisle. DO NOT go down it.
  3. DO calmly walk by the pristinely stacked doughnut display. DO NOT destroy the display while shouting, “IF I CAN’T HAVE THEM, NO ONE CAN!”
  4. DO stock up on healthy food items before holidays such as Halloween, Valentine’s Day, and/or Easter. DO NOT go down the candy aisle after these holidays. Discount candy is just as bad for you as full-priced candy.
  5. DON’T substitute your lunch for samples you find around the store. On second thought, DO. Groceries are expensive, and you’re not made of money.
  6. DO find the healthy samples, and keep going back for more. Disguises are helpful.
  7. DO remember to get plenty of smoothie ingredients. DO NOT buy ice cream and use the ingredients for milkshakes instead.
  8. DO go grocery shopping on a full stomach. DON’T go when you’re so hungry you inadvertently load 18 bags of potato chips into your cart and finish the first bag by the time you reach the check-out lane.
  9. DO make eyes at the cute Starbucks barista. DON’T order a frilly sugar-loaded whipped-cream-topped drink from them.
  10. DO remember to purchase True Citrus. DO NOT forget it.

Thank you Megan, for all of your valuable advice!

Now go forth, shop, and be healthy!

Tags: health tips, true citrus